The Words We Speak

In the past, children were treated differently in so many ways. Life, in general, was different too, and children had many freedoms. They were, however, also subjected to abuse from peers as well as adults, especially in terms of the words that were directed at them. These days, there are many ways in which children are “protected.” The younger generation would say it is a good thing, but the older generation would say it is not so good. For example, the advice the older generation gave their children was this: all you needed to do if someone said anything bad to you was to say: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The Farlex Dictionary of Idioms explains it as the fact that the criticism people throw at you cannot affect you.

However, most parents of that era did not realize that every person was an individual. Not everyone would take it in his or her stride if insulted. In our current era, bullying, especially cyberbullying, has become rampant in recent years. Not all children can just conjure up the words mentioned above as a magic wand. Words said to children can target a vulnerable spot that no one is even aware of. It could cause irreparable psychological damage that can lead to harmful outcomes such as suicide or revenge. Revenge often takes the form of rampant school shootings, especially in the United States. Perhaps the latter has many other reasons for its occurrence, but for the most part, negative and insulting words do hurt and can cause psychological pain and damage.

Furthermore, if a parent was raised in a negative environment, it becomes extremely difficult for them to create a positive environment for their own children. For parents to create a positive environment, it would mean a complete change in vocabulary and subsequent behavior. Creating a positive environment has become especially important in recent times, as many parents are faced with homeschooling on top of raising their children. This makes it imperative to keep the conversations in the home seasoned with salt (this is from the book of Colossians 4:6 in the Bible).

Overall, the words we speak are important, and that applies to adults as well. This can be clearly seen in the social media wars that are ongoing. Even under the Free Speech banner (specifically in the USA), everyone needs to take heed of the things we say to others on the various social media platforms we have. Even though the USA has been the catalyst of free speech, the entire world has been affected by censorship. However, this is a completely different discussion, but it is important to mention it here specifically concerning how we use words. Censorship can be very unfair as the decisions on what constitutes free speech are often slanted towards a specific narrative. This does not excuse us if we are in the business of insulting and slandering others.

Having said that, many adults are often in a place in their lives where they need to hear positive words. This breakaway from negative thoughts will also help them move away from their negative pasts. And again, no excuses for people, but many adults are trapped by their negative demeanor and often need help on how to express themselves positively. As with children, cognitive therapy can be of great help to adults as well. In this instance, as Crystal Raypole from healthline.com tells us, we can focus on what the cognitive behavioral therapist would call self-talk. This is when you use phrases and words to change your mindset and eventual change in behavior. What this behavioral change may lead to is that you could become a positive influence on others as well, especially in the way you speak, and in the words you use.

This takes practice, and you can do it in several ways. Remez Sasson from the website Success Consciousness, provides some insight into how we can develop a positive outlook. The effects of positive words and phrases are not only good for the person using them but also for those toward whom they are directed. For the person saying it, it can have a direct effect on your self-esteem and well-being. As we mentioned, cognitive therapy involves practical steps to engage the mind and being to become more positive. This can be achieved through positive phrases, words, or sentences. The point is to deliberately avoid being negative. Sasson gives us a few sentences, phrases, and words to use. We will only mention a few examples, such as:

· I have faith in my ability to make the best choice (or decision).

· Life is getting better and improving all the time.

· I am good at and enjoy my work.

· I look for the silver lining in every situation.

· I am optimistic about the future.

These are just a fraction of the many phrases, and you can make up your own phrases that are relevant to your situation. You can memorize the phrases or write them down on cards to keep in your pocket or your purse. What you can also do to teach yourself to be positive is to write down the negative things you usually say on one side of a card and then re-write the positive response on the flip side. Witting these things down will be a tactile activity, and it will, in a way, force them to become a part of you.

The emphasis, then, is the effects of thought on us as Gandhi expressed it in this quote:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.” ― Gandhi

For some, it is easy, and for others, it is more difficult, but we ought to try our best to reach the point where we can speak words of hope and encouragement to the many who are hurting, especially right now when we are all in the same boat the world over.

It starts with us all. Speak words of hope and courage, love, peace, and joy into your own life and that of your family, and into the rest of the world. As the Beatles lyrics say: “Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.”